I look at You, the one who takes away

Who curses Your people for their disobedience

I see You full of vengeance because of what Eve did,

Retaliating and bringing down brokenness

Did You know what would happen when You cursed her?

Did You know?

Because that curse You gave her is now resting on me

From the moment I asked the doctor my options and all she could do was frown in silence

Before telling me that any chance of having children would be risking unimaginable pain against a staggering infertility rate

Almost like a death sentence before I even got a chance

And that verse echoes in my head:

“I will sharpen the pain of your pregnancy, and in pain you will give birth.”

I ask why, never knowing if I’ll get an answer

Why did You make me like this?

Why did You give me a heart for Your children, only to rip away a chance of having my own?

Why does Eve’s mistake fall on me?

It wasn’t my fault that she acted out in pride

But I remember it is my pride that cries out now,

demanding an answer for a gift that isn’t mine to take

Just like the fruit wasn’t Eve’s

And I remember that despite her pride and mine, You are the same God who made a way:

for Sarah and her impatience

Hagar and her fear

Rebekah in her barrenness

Leah in her rejection and Rachel in her envy

Hannah through her misery

Elizabeth in old age

And eventually the Virgin Mary

You made a way

And this womb feels cursed but it’s also the place from which You brought forth a Saviour

And now I look at You, the one who gives good gifts

Who blesses us even when we don’t deserve it

And makes a way